“If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” Erica Jong (1942 – ) Novelist and poet
There have been a lot of comments since The Move became public knowledge. Most consist of something along the lines of “That’s crazy” with tones ranging from awe to caution. And of course there are the questions. What if it doesn’t work? It’s so fast! Are you insane? What possessed you to make such a risky move?
But how is being “cautious” any less risky than the adventure we’re about to undertake? We fit. We know each other as intimately as possible for two separate beings. We live and breathe for the welfare of the other. We know what we want and have built our relationship as solidly as we possibly can. We have approached life together with candor and realism. We’ve discussed difficult issues. We both have a past; pasts that have been disclosed fully. Those pasts come complete with what a lot of people would see as baggage. Personally I see it as what has molded us and therefore made this relationship possible. We know there are going to be difficult situations and times. We threw out our rose colored glasses a long time ago. We’re not living in a fairy tale here. Besides have you ever really paid attention to fairy tales? Those stories are twisted dude! Sure they have happy endings but what’s the quote – Happy endings are stories that aren’t finished yet.
Our story is just getting started. Yeah, we’re still in that “honeymoon” stage. Why the hell would we want to spend this phase 1,800 miles apart? We’ll have bad days at work, rebellious kids, and bills to put a strain on us. What kind of sense does it make to deny our relationship the giddiness of the new beginning because of things we’re going to experience whether we’re together or not? Trying to maintain two households separated by an entire country is much more stressful than maintaining our bond while facing the trials of life together. We can’t fully experience the joyful moments of life physically separated either. Webcam and phone calls don’t replace the tactile experience of holding hands while walking with the kids or playing in the yard or cuddling while watching a movie or sitting down to a family dinner together.
From the outside looking in this is crazy. And trust me, we’ve looked at each other and asked “are we completely insane” more than once. But from inside this craziness there is a certainty that the real risk is in doubting the strength and completeness of our relationship. We’re not together by accident. And we’re not looking for a happy ending. I’d rather see this story continue indefinitely.