And he still hasn’t changed the locks…

Not all the pictures from Saturday uploaded this morning – a fact I didn’t discover until I was at the office and seriously contemplating drafting a recap of that wonderful day. Of COURSE some of my favorite shots are the ones still languishing on the drive at home so that recap will have to be done tonight or tomorrow. I did manage to get this one 

 

 

 Jon’s gleeful reaction as the first jets flew by.  It’s now in my screensaver rotation and makes me smile & feel all warm & tingly – which needs to happen more often because the temperature in our office currently rivals that of a meat freezer. 

 

The week has been rather hellish and I’ve left the office every day feeling as if I’ve been struggling against tornado level winds for eight hours. So I’ve been focusing on my attitude all week. There are situations that I have chosen to remain in and people that I can’t change. But I can control how I react to them. I can control how I let them affect me. I can take things personally and spend my days wound tighter than necessary or I can take what nuggets of wisdom are available and ignore the rest. It’s a necessary practice to undertake, not only for myself but for my family. I can’t carry that tension and stress internally and I certainly don’t want to take it back into our home. 

 

But last night I let it all overwhelm me. I got home, made dinner & promptly hid in our room with a book, leaving Jon to deal with the dinner time drama alone. I knew my grip on rationality has slipped dangerously when I severely over-reacted to a simple conversation that wouldn’t have even registered on anyone else’s radar. And so I ran. I grabbed my pen & notebook and scurried to the coffee house around the corner where I ensconced myself into a comfortable chair and spewed stream of consciousness irrationalities onto paper until I was sufficiently sane enough to be around normal people again. 

 

Jon has had a long exhausting week too but I was completely wrapped up in how tired I was. Last night was a difficult evening in parenting but I left him to deal with all three boys singlehandedly – the youngest who was also exhausted and grouchy.  It’s very likely that if I hadn’t taken that hour of quiet time, I would’ve ended up starting a fight. I would’ve snipped and snapped and been an overall bitch. On one hand I’m glad I had enough awareness in the midst of the storm to recognize that fact and avoided it. On the other, I’m not at all proud that it got to that point. Jon deserves to be shown love and respect and support. He’s a much better person than I and I’m overwhelmed again by how fortunate I am to have him in my life. He was just as tired as me, just as stressed. And yet when I came home he simply loved on me. And then he did the laundry. Because he’s superman.

1 Comment

  1. I’m no superman, not even close. Everybody has times when they want to run, I knew why you were leaving and was ok with it. I also apologize for all the “dinnertime drama” lately, it frustrates me just as much as you. I will love you to death until I can’t draw breath anymore, taking care of you and showing you love is just gonna happen, better get used to it. =)

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