Okay okay I get it already

I have had one major challenge in my life recently. Unforunatly I can’t go into details in a public forum but it’s a situation not particularly of my making and not entirely under my control. I’ve been trying to approach it from an “adjust one’s own attitude” perspective but have admittedly not done so well on that front. This week I sat down to study the Sunday School lesson I was going to help teach. About halfway through the first page all I could do was say “Really God? You’re going to convict me through a lesson for 4th & 5th graders? On THIS situation? Seriously?”

Yeah He thinks he’s real funny sometimes. So I got to study a lesson and then help present it, the whole while being beat over the head with WHY exactly my attitude change was failing and how the situation should be approached. Am I really so hard headed that such a challenging method had to be used? Umm…on second thought, let’s not answer that question.

Moving on.

You may have noticed a new list over there on the sidebar – “2009 Book List”.  No? Well ya do now. It’s not part of any challenge or resolution. I love to read but I’ve never really kept track of what I’m reading or how much or even planned ahead. So though despite the temptation to challenge myself to read some insane number of books this year, I’m just going to be more mindful of what I read. You’ll see I’m starting with “Purpose Driven Life”. I’ve wrestled off and on lately with what my gifts are/purpose is. I feel like I should be doing MORE in the world but I’m not sure where/how to realistically start. If left to my own devices I would take on several major projects or volunteer opportunites, have every free moment of every night booked…and probably crash within a few months.  I have a family that is my top priority. And a wedding to plan. And there’s still that tiny problem of not really being good at anything. So when Paul started talking in service Sunday about using our gifts for God, I was really frustrated. I WANT to but…yeah…floundering.  Hence my first book choice. Feel free to suggest any others, along any lines/subjects/genres (no romance).

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