This used to be a forum to share amusing moments and conversations. But since Jon and I merged our families, I’m less and less inclined to share although I probably have much more material. Before, there was only me and TheKid. The stories I shared were mine alone. Now (most) narratives don’t just belong to me. They belong to our blended family. And while Jon trusts my judgment in what is revealed and doesn’t mind me writing about him, his children squirm under a camera lens and shun the spotlight. I toe that blurry line between what is okay to share and what it taboo for THEM. And even though I take care not to name the boys here, it’s still a peek into our otherwise private lives.
This used to be an outlet to work through frustrations and musings. Once upon a time I could vent here pretty openly. However much of my anonymity has been lost in the past year and now my spur of the moment, emotional tirades have direct implications on those around me. If I’m wrestling with an issue, chances are it’s just that – MY issue. Nine out of ten times it’s me being irrational or insecure or selfish but it takes some fuming and self talk to reach the point of rationality and calmness. The route to work through that thought process is never pretty and those close to me should not be publicly dragged through that griminess.
This used to be a place to share my photographs. Now I don’t take nearly as many pictures. I still take A LOT mind you. But I don’t spend nearly as much time in front of my computer. It sometimes takes me weeks to upload and sort shots to my drive. So while I’d love to start participating in several photo memes a week, I also know that it’s unlikely I will on a regular basis.
These aren’t laments. I rather like my life now so the lack of posting doesn’t weigh on me. I don’t adhere to all the blogging “rules”. I’m not here to promote the brand of “me” or gather followers or network. On the other hand, I don’t plan to stop updating here. In fact I have a few posts waiting to be written and several photo shoots I want to do (again with that whole time issue…) I just might be more of a “couple of times a month” poster rather than a “couple of times a week”.