And then again – some things don’t change.
It’s 11:30 pm on a Saturday night. Do you want to guess what I’ve been doing?
And that’s one thing that hasn’t changed. I cope with stuff by cleaning. I mean – that’s not the ONLY reason I ever clean. I do it because it needs to be done too. But if you find me scrubbing the kitchen floor by hand or mopping the bathroom ceiling, chances are something has tripped my neurotic switch.
I mopped the bathroom ceiling tonight. After I did all the laundry – including sheets & towels because I want my husband to come home to fresh, clean linens. And after I scrubbed the kitchen counter tops…and doors. And washed the blinds. And cleaned the fan. And dusted….everything. And scrubbed the walls. And vacuumed. And mopped the kitchen floor. Somewhere in there I mopped the bathroom ceiling. Three out of the five of us take really long, hot showers so it gets humid in there. And the exhaust fan sucks…well it doesn’t suck actually. So the ceiling starts getting little black spots that I suspect are mold. Can I get an EWWWWW! I’m short. And there are spots of the bathroom I can’t get a step-stool or ladder positioned to reach parts of the ceiling. Hence, the mop. It works. Don’t judge.
But what tripped my neurotic switch…that’s what’s changed. I lived on my own for six(?) years. Yeah TheKid was with me but he was little for quite a few of those years and the last few he was gone to friends’ a lot. It never bothered me too much. I mean I’ve NEVER enjoyed being alone but I was okay spending evenings in an empty home. Tonight was the first time I’ve been completely by myself for any length of time in over three years – since July of 2008. Jon has been gone. We’ve been kid free. But I haven’t spent an evening TOTALLY ALONE. And it freaked me out. Jon is out of town. TheKid is at homecoming w/his girlfriend and is staying at her house tonight (well supervised and in separate rooms), the other two are with their biological mom. It’s just me and the dog. And I did. Not. Deal. Well.
The upside is the house is relatively clean. The downside is my poor dog is so tired she didn’t even move when I rattled the back door handle. Usually she’d be right at my side begging to go outside. Tonight, she barely opened one eye and sighed at me. It’s after 11:30. Perhaps I should shower & get her in bed.