Pet peeve

Recently in the midst of a cleaning spree and conversation at work, a coworker snidely made a disparaging comment towards men in general that made me grit my teeth a bit. I started this post afterwards. A few days later the same subject came up in conversation with a friend and my husband.

I. Am. So. Tired. of this general attitude that women have the superiority to belittle and insult the men in our lives.  I hate that our culture uses commercials and supposedly funny TV shows to teach and reinforce that superior attitude to our little girls (and train our little boys that they’re inferior). Are we (generally) stronger in some areas than men? Yes. Just like they are (generally) stronger in some areas than women. Society has spent years convincing us we need to “man up” and somehow in the process it seems we’ve equated that to emasculating our men.

Neither gender is “better” than the other. We were created differently,  to work TOGETHER. Not against each other but as a TEAM with complementary strengths. That doesn’t mean you can’t/shouldn’t/are incapable of having more car knowledge than him. That doesn’t he can’t/shouldn’t/is incapable of cleaning house better than you. It means you figure out what each of your strengths and weaknesses are and what works for YOU.

This isn’t even a strictly Biblical matter. It’s just common sense. I mean – I assume if you’re IN  a relationship your goal is something along the lines of growing closer, becoming a stronger team, living life together…something like that, right? So wouldn’t belittling your partner work against that? And if you’re not totally opposed to being in a relationship, how does that dismissive view help your attitude towards potential partners?

It just really annoys me. Why would you choose to be in a relationship (or want to be in one) with someone you can’t/don’t respect – publicly AND privately? Showing that respect doesn’t make you look weak or lesser.  Quite frankly, this public bashing*, even in the guise of humor? THAT’S what makes you look weak and insecure. And sometimes, just bitchy.

*And let me be clear – I don’t mean that respect = never getting irritated/annoyed/flat out furious. And I fully believe that venting to a trusted girlfriend can be helpful, especially if she is willing to (lovingly) tell you when you’re out of line. And I also realize this is not a given attitude with women, but it IS accepted.

1 Comment

  1. A-freaking-men!

    I have a lot of “feminist” friends (and, hey, let’s be honest..I would be considered more feminist than most) who think it’s perfectly fine to berate the men of our day for all their problems. They’re single, because men don’t ask them out. Why don’t they? They’re lazy, immature, commitment-phobes, etc. Well, I’m sorry. But if I were a guy, I wouldn’t want to date a girl that thought that about me.

    I get sick of the “it’s not okay for you to say mean things about me, but I can about you…because I’m just joking.”

    Thanks for writing this. It was well said! (and EXACTLY what I’ve been thinking.

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