A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to one of the older boys and told him we were having potato soup for dinner. In response the ten year old cheered “YAY! I LOVE CALZONES!!” And then swore, hand on the Bible, cross his heart hope to die, so help him God, that he HEARD me say “calzones”. Fast forward to tonight.
Wednesday nights the older two boys have youth group. Until this semester, my husband took them and LilBit and I stayed home. This semester? I have a class from 5:30 – 8something. Today I was not feeling up to par so I opted out of a multi hour lecture to come home and sit in my yoga pants & hoodie and watch online seminary classes because…well how do YOU relax? Anyway. Jon left with the older boys and I went to see if LilBit was getting ready for a shower. He was not. He was standing in the middle of his room. Just standing there. With his shoes on. So I asked WHY. Naturally. He responded with “I thought you were going to Krav.” (Yeah. I know. That didn’t really answer…anything.)
Now. I’ve NEVER ONCE IN EVER EVER went to a Krav class on Wednesday night. But since I’m sure he’s heard us talk about my class, I assumed he just thought that’s where I was. So I explained that usually I was in one of my college classes on Wednesday nights. At which point he disagreed and told me that he was SURE I went to Krav on Wednesday nights. I clarified. Oh no honey. I go to Krav on Tuesday & Thursday nights. But never on Wednesdays. Like…never. Ever. Because youth group. And school.
He. Argued. With. Me. ABOUT MY VERY OWN LOCATION AND SCHEDULE. Because he was certain, oh so terribly convinced, that I go to Krav on Wednesday nights that there was virtually no room in his little hard blonde head for a change in perspective. I calmly reiterated that I have never, and will probably never, attend a Wednesday night Krav class. And that honestly, it didn’t REALLY matter whether I was at Krav or school. And then I sent him to his shower while I went to slice up onions but I’m pretty sure he still thinks I’m wrong about my own schedule.
Have I ever told you about the time he was about five and we had a twenty minute argument on whether “N-O” spelling the word “no” or “on”? He got it backwards and I tried to correct him. Tried. Twenty minutes later I realized I was arguing WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD. And losing. At least he reads remarkably well now and no longer gets those two words mixed up. But lord knows it’s not from any interaction with me. This child will be the first attorney to use the Chewbacca defense in real life. (Start at :27 seconds to avoid the unncessary language) And he’ll win.