Every Thursday or Friday at work one of us (usually my supervisor) sends out an email to security and a whole list of people including muckity mucks. And often, we end up with last minute additions to that information that requires that email be resent. Sometimes, on very very rare occasions, we make a mistake that necessitates a resend. However, we strive to make sure we don’t have to resend it more than once. It just doesn’t look good.
Friday, my supervisor found an omission on the email she had originally sent. Because she was in the middle of a fairly attention necessary task, I offered to take care of it. Shortly after hitting “send”, I hear her cry out “Oh NO!” I whirled around and said “What?!!?” And she shared the news about the shooting at LAX.
My first reaction? Was relief. I thought she had found another mistake and we would need to send the email a third time. And so instead of horror or sadness or even concern for the people and families at LAX, I felt relief. That we wouldn’t look bad.
How screwed up is that? I was immediately horrified although it was more at my reaction than the events. I told my supervisor about it and she understood completely. This job, it’s wearing us down. What we do? Ultimately doesn’t matter. We keep a campus in good working order. We try to give the students a good environment to learn and socialize and grow. We make sure people have access to the buildings and rooms they need to. But in the grand scheme of things? Our jobs should not cause such stress. And we? Are easily replaceable. So why, how, do our priorities get so upside down? I don’t know. But it was a much needed reality check.