Don’t Wanna Not Gonna

A teacher recently described our youngest as “politely defiant”.  I laughed because while he and I have had some pretty epic fights, they only happen when I force him to do an assignment he *really* doesn’t want to do. If someone simply asks him or gently suggests/encourages, he just….won’t. Very quietly. And yes, even politely. If he don’t wanna, he’s not gonna.

But lately, he’s been doing assignments, whether he wants to or not. Hubby explained to him that if he wants to attend the charter high school that he likes, he has to prove NOW that he can work hard. (Assuming, of course, that he even gets drawn in the lottery. But that’s irrelevant to the lesson here.) We’ve had the discussion that even with activities/jobs/projects/classes he LOVES, there will be some element that he doesn’t like. But ultimately, to do what you like, you also have to do those things you don’t. And although it’s only been a couple of weeks, he’s proving he can spur HIMSELF to do the less than fun tasks.

I’ve written two whole paragraphs about lessons we’re trying to teach our youngest. And this post is not ACTUALLY about him.

I’ve been to the gym like…once…in the past two weeks. The temperatures are dropping. It’s dark when we leave home for work. It’s dark when we leave work for home. It’s been rainy. I don’t want to get up early. I don’t want to get in a pool when it’s dark and 30 degrees outside. I don’t want to move after work. I want to lay on the couch, sleep and eat bread & cheese and drink hot chocolate when I do wake up. I am a summer girl through and through. Every year I try not to complain about winter. But I hate it. I am incredibly envious of animals that hibernate through these dark bitter months. Seriously.

Earlier this week I turned off my alarm and slept WAY late. I made it to work on time but it was a rushed morning. I was lamenting that I “just need to find my motivation again.” And yes, that would be nice. But if I rely on finicky motivation, then when I don’t wanna, I’m not gonna. And I’m *really* good about rationalizing why that’s okay.

Turns out that training through the winter is the element of triathlon that I don’t like but I just need to do anyway. If I really want to do well next spring/summer, I have to emerge from my carb filled blanket cocoon even if I don’t have a friend waiting (That turns the training session into a non-negotiable event & I’ll go no matter how little motivation I feel). I think they call it drive. Or grit. Thankfully it’s something that can be developed.

Some lessons are easier to preach than practice.

The moment I realized I’m really an athlete…and my first 10k

I completed my first 10k last weekend (Sept 23, 2017). It was an amazing experience and much easier than I expected. But oddly, that wasn’t the moment I realized I was an athlete. Nope.

Wednesday was a perfectly gorgeous day. Jon and I were driving home from work and passed a guy out for a run. I found that I was ENVIOUS. But I had women coming over for a book study that evening and did not have time to squeeze in a run AND prepare for them. Or at least not enough time to do both and shower. My goal was to be welcoming and that would have been the opposite. But anyway. Still not the moment.

Yesterday was a perfectly gorgeous day. Jon was heading to a concert with friends and I had promised the youngest we would go out for dinner before tackling school work. At dinner I checked the time for sunset and found that it was still an hour and half away. Back home, I got Lilbit started on his paper, changed and finally got outside for a run. My activity tracker was running but there was no Garmin on my wrist, largely displaying my pace. There were no split times coming through my headphones. There was no timer telling me when to run and when to walk. I did not have a time or a distance goal. It was just the road, how I felt, and music. I returned home feeling much lighter. At least emotionally. And that’s when I realized. I don’t have to qualify my label as an athlete with additions like “slow” or “clumsy” or …whatever. I just went for a run. Not because it was on a training schedule or because I have an event. I unplugged and went simply for the joy of it. And that alone makes me a runner. I already do that with swimming but for some reason that did not impact me like that run did.

The 10k. Ah. I was a little tight and sore last night after two miles so maybe I’m not completely recovered. But the race was a wonderful experience. I really had no idea what to expect. My longest training run had been four miles and that was painful. Of course it was also 90 degrees. The temperature at race start time was forecasted to be 38 degrees. And I don’t really do cold. Eventually I decided that if it was raining, I wasn’t going but if not, I would brave the chill knowing I should warm up within a few miles.

Prepping for the race the night before was odd. I’ve only set up for triathlons lately so only having to set out stuff for one sport, and the one that requires the least amount of equipment, was a bit disconcerting. I kept walking back over to my clothes and saying “Clothes, shoes, race number….that’s really it huh?” It was actually even easier than packing to go the gym before work! I went to bed at a decent hour and proceeded to have nightmares all night. I couldn’t tie my shoes. My shoes were too big. I was wearing flip flops or sandals. There were like 20 laces in each shoe….so I couldn’t tie them. Again. I missed the race start. All. Night. Long. My brain can be weird.

Race morning was pretty non-eventful. It was cold but once we were all in start corrals it wasn’t too bad. I sat with a girl on the shuttle to the start and chatted with her. Somehow out of the thousands of people, I ended up standing next to her in the start corral (I ended up in the 15+ min pace corral. That was a <very minor> mistake on my part). She started to take a selfie and I leaned in over her shoulder and smiled. She turned so I wouldn’t be in the shot. Guess we didn’t bond as much as I thought.

The race actually started on time. Everyone I talked to said they were notorious for starting late so I was glad to realize we would get started when expected. It took about a minute and a half to actually cross the start line but then the crowd spread out pretty quickly. I decided not to use my timer app since but since headphones were allowed, I turned on some music, put in one ear bud and decided to run a song/walk a song. That worked out really well. At one point I frantically thought “I am NOT WARMING UP!” then realized only about ten minutes had passed. I spent most of the first mile weaving around and passing people. My first mile pace was 12 mins. And let me tell you, that is fast for me. I’ve seen that pace only a couple of other times, when I was only out for a mile or two and was pushing pretty hard. I knew I needed to pull it back but I didn’t feel like I was putting out that much effort. And I still wasn’t warm.

By mile 2 I had unzipped my jacket about halfway and had settled in with the people I would stay with through most of the race. At the mile 3 aid station I stopped briefly to take off my jacket and tie it around my waist. And then realized I felt really good and was excited to keep going. Normally at mile 3 I’m hating life and glad that I only signed up for a 5k. Between mile 4 & 5 (or somewhere in there) starts an uphill climb. I did not do ANY hill training so I had already planned to walk that. I did. And I was perfectly fine with that. Approaching mile 5 I started running again. A woman I had been leap-frogging with the whole time was passing me again and I happened to actually look directly at her at the same time she looked over at me. We recognized each other from triathlon training and she asked how I was feeling. I shrugged and said “I feel good….REALLY good actually!” I was shocked to realize we were approaching the last, literal downhill, stretch. And I felt amazing. About a quarter mile later my hips started to complain a bit but nothing that hindered me. Just a noticeable little complaint. And then suddenly, I was down the hill and entering the finishing chute….and my left calf cramped up. My first thought was “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?” My second was a mental comment directly to my leg. “Well. You are just going to have to work this out on your own because I am NOT stopping for you. We are almost done and we are running this in so deal with it.”

57969690_race_0.04274186802516955.display

And….obviously my leg and I were still having that battle to the bitter end. But when I crossed the line I still thought “That was easy!” immediately followed by “Whose thought was that? Why would I think something so disgusting?!!? But maybe I could do a half in the spring….”

I have since ordered a race fuel belt that will hold my race numbers (great for tri) but I don’t have to carry a water bottle in my hand (awkward). So I guess I’m serious about doing more of these crazy things.

Total time 1:20:44, average pace was approximately 13 mins/mile. What?!!? I have no idea how I maintained that pace over 6.2 miles. And still felt GOOD.

Y Not Tri 2017 Bike and Run

Bike – 6 miles/3 laps (27:42)

This is the part I improved the most on. I was significantly faster this year. Apparently training works! Whoa! Bob blew past me towards the start of lap two and I whoo-hooed and then didn’t see him again until he was starting to head back in on loop 3 and I was about to make the turn around.

I don’t have much else to say about the bike actually. It was pretty fun…definitely more so than last year. Being able to drink on the bike is a game changer. But on lap three I thought “I’ll never do the double sprint cause I don’t think I could handle another three of these laps.” I really like the location overall. It’s convenient and easy for spectators. I like swimming at Quinn’s and running on the Greenbelt. There’s plenty of the room on the bike course, it’s flat and it’s not totally ugly. I like riding through where we start because the spectators are there. But otherwise I do get a bit bored with it. Maybe if I get faster…

T2 (unknown)

I dismounted my bike and was running into transition when I saw another friend. We met at the first little tri I did and hanging with her helped calm my nerves a lot. I was very excited and gave her a high five,vtripping over my bike a bit in the process (also on video). Otherwise T2 was uneventful. Racked my bike, switched my helmet for my hat and ran out. My race bib ripped when I tried to  move it from the back to the front so I just held it with my water bottle. I high fived Lynette and ran on out.

Run – 2 miles (28:08)

I realized real quick that the run was going to be difficult. I had pushed harder on the bike than usual and I think I started too fast on the run. I couldn’t calm my heart rate or breathing down. I did a walk/run thing the whole way and it got better. I saw another woman I met training. She was doing the longer course and on her way back in. She cheered and that was a help. I wasn’t expecting to see her so that was a fun surprise. Then I saw Stephanie finishing up her run and that was a big boost for me. I couldn’t run Bob down though. I saw him at the turn around. He was probably only 200 yards ahead of me at that point but I waved and shook my head and said “I’m not going to catch you today.” And I didn’t. But I was just done. I still ran some but I walked more. With about half a mile to go, I started leap frogging with a girl. She got ahead of me and I could tell she had more to give but within sight of the finish line, she started walking. A guy came running up and told her they were running in. I yelled “Are you really going to let me run you down NOW? Really?” She started laughing, took off and finished strong.

I ran in as well but I didn’t feel like I finished as strong. But The Hubby has video and I look much better than I felt. I was even smiling so even though part of me was trying to say I was never racing again, I obviously had fun.

I met up with my friends but we left quickly after that. LilBit was out there too and he was, as The Hubby said, “having attitude issues”. We woke him up early to go outside, without a screen in sight and surrounded by people being active. I’m pretty sure it was his Worst. Morning. Ever. (Also, he’s 14 years old now and hates being called LilBit but I haven’t come up with a new blog name for him yet.) I checked results on the way home (yay technology!) and found that I was fourth in my age group. By THREE SECONDS. Three. Freakin. Seconds. I thought at first that those three seconds were the girl I encouraged in ahead of me but then realized it wasn’t. In The Hubby’s video, a man and woman fly past me right at the finish line. I didn’t even see or hear them at the time. I had put my head down and was just finishing. But it had to have been her. Stephanie and Bob both podium-ed in their age groups/fields. We could have made it three for three. I keep thinking “I had four seconds in me somewhere.” And physically I probably did. I just have to learn to “suffer” a little more, embrace the discomfort. It’s not worth dwelling on though.

My goal was to beat my time from last year and I did that by 9 minutes and 51 seconds. There will always be things to work on and improve. I know what to focus on next. I had fun and made new friends that I can continue to train with. I was reminded just how fortunate I am to have The Hubby’s love and support and the wonderful friends I am surrounded by. I can’t really ask for a better race than that.

YNotTri2017 Run

Y Not Tri 2017 – Prelim and Swim

YNotTri2017 Training partners back

My training partners and I pre-race. (I’m in the middle)

I felt like I didn’t have much to say about this race. And then I started typing and I do. Of course I do. I always have a lot to say.

I really only had one goal and that was to do better than last year. In 2016 I finished third from the bottom in my entire field. But I can’t control how OTHER people perform. I could have a good day but if everyone else has a stellar day I could STILL finish at the bottom. All I could focus on was my own time so that’s what I tried to do.

But let’s get straight to it. Here’s the overview/comparison if you don’t want to wade through the minutiae of my thoughts and details of each part of the race.

  • Overall place 61/78 (2016 was 99/101)
  • Overall female place 29/45 (2016 was 49/51)
  • Age Group place 4/7 (by THREE SECONDS…we’ll get to that next post) (2016 was 15/17) (Also, I aged into a new age group this year…)
  • Time – I beat my overall 2016 time by 9:51.

I’ve mentioned this before but I actually trained this year. I hit most of my scheduled work outs and when I had to switch things up, I made sure to prioritize my bike/run. I’m not strong on any of the three disciplines but if I’m more comfortable anywhere, it’s in the water. My hubby made sure my bike was always in good working order and supported the time away from home. Pulse Running and Fitness Shop hosted their fantastic training group again this year and their coaching, encouragement and support were invaluable. And the people training with me…fantastic.

Stephanie (the other woman in the above picture) did the longer course so she started an hour before us. I had so much fun spectating and cheering for her while we could. I was with my coaches and Bob (the guy in the picture) and we sang and danced and cheered and stalked a random woman to try and read the tattoo on her back (okay only one of us did that…and it wasn’t me this time!) All in all, it was the most fun I’ve ever had pre-race…probably because I wasn’t a bundle of nerves this time. They say to “trust your training”. It’s amazing what a difference it makes to have training to trust!

Right before we started I saw my friend Lynette. She’s a beast of a triathlete but is having surgery soon so she’s out for the season. But she showed up for support and my heart just leapt when I saw her then and every time I saw her on the course. I don’t know if spectators understand what a difference it makes for a racer (or at least this one) to see friendly faces and hear beloved voices out on the course. It’s nice when anyone cheers for you but when it’s a friend, family or your spouse, it just gives you that much more of a boost. I was privileged to have multiple friends/coaches/training partners AND my husband out there. And that was probably the best part.

YNotTri2017 Lynette and I

Lynette and I. We’re adorable. Sadly I didn’t get a pic with The Hubby.

I only had one goal but my plan for the day was a little more involved than “beat my time”. I’m usually a stronger swimmer than Bob but he’s a much stronger biker than me (we’re pretty similar on the run). So my plan was to get out of the water far enough ahead of him that he wouldn’t blow past me immediately on the bike and then I could catch him on the run. Oh…and he knew about that plan. I might have lamented that I should have painted the bottom of my feet for him to chase….

On to the swim…

400 yard swim (12:11)

Here’s the thing. We’ve done multiple open water swims this year. And almost every one was longer than 400 yards. I’m comfortable in the water. I’m not fast but I KNEW that I could handle this distance. But having unfamiliar people around totally changes my mentality. It’s happened every time. And several people around me were flipping to their backs and gasping which I let distract me. I never panicked but I did find myself switching to my side when physically I didn’t actually need to. In fact, I think I tired myself MORE by doing that instead of just finding my rhythm and focusing on it.  I beat my time from last year but barely. I know I could shave that time down, even without additional physical training, by just controlling the whole mental part better. Ultimately, I didn’t drown. And I did beat Bob out of the water (although I would have cheered SO HARD if that was reversed). So I have a few observations to prepare better but I’m not upset. Oh! You had to step up to get out of the water. I could see it but couldn’t tell how high it was. And I totally biffed it. I was fine. The Hubby has it on video and I’m totally cracking up as I’m running up the ramp.

YNotTri2017 Post Swim

T1 (unknown)

My transition times weren’t recorded. I was here a few minutes. I actually sat down and wiped off my feet and put my socks/shoes on. I didn’t rush but I wasn’t leisurely. Bob came in as I was un-racking my bike and I yelled “DAMMIT! Take your time!” but honestly, I’m SO proud of how well he did! And then I was off to get on the bike…

Tri Season

I’ve been fascinated with the sport of triathlon for quite awhile. Years in fact. A couple of years ago I did a super short race (200m swim, 3 mile bike, 1 mile run) with absolutely no training. It was hot. It was hard. And I loved it…several hours later. I signed up to do one that fall…and again neglected to do any training. I DNF’d after getting horribly sick on the bike.

Fast forward past a few random 5ks. This year I was determined to train quietly, focus on swimming and biking and strength training and attempt racing again next year. Then I went to SE Asia for 10 days and came back 20 pounds lighter. After five years of eating well, training and the extra weight inexplicably refusing to budge, suddenly it’s disappearing at a satisfactory rate. I have no idea why but I feel pretty great so I’m running with it. Um…quite literally.

I’ve never considered myself an athlete (I’m not exactly coordinated) but this year I signed up to play softball (THAT’S a learning curve). And after talking with a friend, I signed up to do the same triathlon I did two years ago, but double the distance. True confession – there’s also a longer version that’s 4x what I originally did. And I was tempted. The race is at the end of July. I have thirteen weeks to train. But given my previous history with training I opted to stick with the middle distance while (VERY) tentatively eyeing another race in mid August with an actual Sprint distance.

Yesterday I went and bought new running shoes. After a couple of years of trying to save money, I have returned to my beloved Brooks Adrenaline line. I also grabbed an extra swim suit & a couple of pairs of capris & shorts that I can run in without them falling off. Hubs pulled out my bikes and aired up the tires.

There is a lot to do. I haven’t run more than a couple of times in…yeah. Long time. I have a road bike with cages on the pedals that I have to learn to ride. (I’m used to a mountain bike with basic flat pedals). And my swim…yikes. My training plan called for 15 mins in the pool this morning. I scoffed. Fifteen minutes. Pfft. I headed to the Y this morning fully expecting to bust out an easy half hour. I did not take into account the fact that at 5:30 in the AM at the Y…the pool is full of ultra intense and serious athletes that don’t even pause in their super fast flip turning laps long enough for someone to ask to share a lane.

It was intimidating. But I was just about to jump in a lane and let the other occupant figure it out when the life guard pointed at a spot for me. I bobbed under the ropes until I got there. The guy in the next lane over was buddies with my lane partner so we switched and I got a lane to myself for approximately two laps. Regardless, I climbed out after fifteen minutes wondering if I had dreamed every other swim I’ve ever done. I’ve never been fast but this was a struggle on an entirely different level. I never did get my breathing rhythm.

Tonight calls for a 20 min run. The wind outside is approaching seemingly hurricane levels so I think I’ll be cheating with a treadmill for this time.

 

 

YMCA Fall Sprint Triathlon 10/18/2014

In the Spring and Fall, our local YMCA organization puts on a triathlon where you swim Friday in the nice indoor pool, then start your bike leg on Saturday morning when the clock hits your swim time (and run after that…naturally).

I signed up for the full sprint distance (750m swim/12.5 mi bike/5k run) in August, ready to start training and confident that I would be ready.

Then I promptly hyper-extended my knee and knocked myself out of running (or walking…or standing…)- at all – for the duration of the training period. Confident that bike training would translate to the run, I put in my time there and in the pool.

I projected half an hour for my swim. (I’ve never been fast). I arrived at the pool with time to spare but the woman in the lane before me was going long. I was supposed to start at 7:05pm. About 7:12, she finally finished. I expected to take half an hour and had people due to show up at my house at 8:00. My timer asked if I wanted to do a couple of warm-up laps but I said “Nope. Let’s get this thing started. I have to GO.”

And go I did. Final time was 21:01. I was just a LITTLE happy with that. Seems time in the pool paid off.

I got home with enough time to tell my kiddo my time, get a cheer and high-five….and the admonition of “You need to change; you smell like sweat & chlorine”. I changed, ran a brush through my damp, chlorine infused hair, threw on a headband and greeted my lovely guests. We sat around the table partaking in amazing conversations and laughter and chili and cupcakes.

I slept fitfully but surprisingly woke up with my alarm feeling well rested. I jumped out of bed…and immediately ran to the restroom for the first of multiple times that hour. My body was not happy with something and was determined to eliminate it by any means necessary. I will spare you the graphic details. But as the clock ticked closer to the time I had determined we needed to leave, I was feeling better. I figured there was nothing left in my system (foreshadowing anyone?) and I would be fine once I got going.

TheKid went with me to the race. We got there early and sat in the van to stay warm until it was time to cluster with everyone else outside of the bike racks. As my stomach started to churn and cramp again, I repeated multiple times “This was probably a mistake.” but then chalked it up to nerves and reassured TheKid that I’d “be fine”. He made it his life’s mission to make me laugh and be goofy with him but I didn’t have it in me. I stood huddled in a jacket with the other racers, vacillating between desperately wishing I was still in bed and looking forward to seeing how the bike work paid off.

I quickly realized the work was not going to pay off. At all. After the first slight incline I started checking gears and trying to figure out why the bike wasn’t moving like it should. A few minutes later I realized the bike was fine. I was not. (See above: nothing left in my system) A guy cruised passed me yelling encouragement. I glared at his rapidly disappearing back. A few minutes later a girl passed me, shooting me a concerned look. She wasn’t moving fast and I decided to keep her within chasing distance. She disappeared just as quickly and not long after, I found out there wasn’t food left in my system so my body was going to eliminate water too. Yay. No fuel. No hydration. It’s the stuff of legendary bonks.

The bike course was 12.5 miles, mostly a square but with two little out and back additions. By the time I got to the first one, I was barely staying hydrated, barely moving and could only focus on my front wheel and the white line. I told the race official “I’m not going to be able to run. And I am most definitely not doing the extra mileage. I’m going back to the start as quickly as possible.” He waved me through, I hiccuped through a few quiet sobs and continued trying to find a gear that didn’t feel like I was pedaling through quick sand.

I spent the rest of the (approximately) 10 miles desperately trying not to weave all over the place because the truck of volunteers picking up cones was following me, very obviously keeping an eye on me. And I was determined that I was going to roll back in under my own power, not in the bed of a truck. That (approximate) 10 miles felt like 100. And felt like I was climbing a steep grade the whole time. It was a miserable long morning. But when I (finally) rolled back into transition, gross, defeated & destroyed, long after everyone else was out on their run, TheKid was standing there waiting. And as soon as I came into view he started jumping up and down and cheering “THAT’S MY MAMA! GOOOOO MOM!” And somehow, that made it better.

I checked in with the race director to make sure she knew my status and that I did not actually complete the bike portion. And then we started the limp to the van. A friend was there watching and he came over to say “hi” and see how I felt. I know we talked. But all I really remember was trying to hand TheKid my bike then realizing I wasn’t sure I could walk entirely un-aided. But by the time TheKid pulled the van into the driveway, I was starting to second guess myself. I had been sitting for a bit, re-hydrating and only slightly nauseous. Then I tried to stand upright, the world tilted alarmingly and I found myself slumped against the side of the vehicle. Soooo yeah. Probably a good thing I stopped when I did.

Surprisingly, it’s only twelve hours since I first arrived at the race site and I feel quite human again. I showered and slept for a couple of hours. I met some friends at a pizza joint to celebrate birthdays and while I avoided pizza, the bread sticks were the BEST THING EVER. I’m able to drink water without my stomach complaining and cramping. And I have realized, as frustrating and painful as the day was, a lot of good came from it too:

1. I realized I do not regret the attempt. At all. I probably would not have been nearly as sick if I had not pushed myself. But if I didn’t start, I would have always second guessed myself.

2. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in training and goals. Those can become so much a part of my identity that I start to weave my own self-worth into them. Having my day destroyed by circumstances  (mostly) outside of my control made me re-evaluate. I could have had a total melt-down, beat myself up, hid in bed, etc. I was on the razor’s edge when I passed the point of no return at that first out and back. As soon I skipped that mileage, I solidified my DNF. And I did cry. I could have easily ridden the spiral down into the pits of disappointment, embarrassment and despair. That incriminating internal voice was ready to deliver be-ratings, to cover me in the labels of “failure” and “worthless” and “hopeless”.  Or. I could embrace the fact that this was my experience for the day. It was painful, and yes – embarrassing. But I could decide how it defines and impacts me. I could take the lessons given to me (don’t eat chili the night before a race?), accept that this was the race I had to give and move on. That’s not to say that I didn’t have to battle that nasty little voice. There were definitely moments I considered sitting down on the side of the road and calling TheKid to come get me. And when I had to get off and walk up a fairly small incline because I could not physically push the pedals in the easiest gear I had…well….I was NOT saying anything positive in that moment…either verbally or mentally.

There are times I can honestly say  I was physically doing everything I possibly could…and there are moments I look back and wonder…maybe…did I have a little extra speed in me? But in the end, my child cheered un-embarrassed, despite the situation. And this afternoon I sat surrounded by friends who, when hearing that I did not finish, simply said “I’m so sorry. How are you doing now?” They were not disappointed IN me. They were disappointed FOR me. They do not love me any less and the only way a race is going to impact our relationship is if I let training take priority over them.

My legs are absolutely destroyed. It’s oddly a reassurance that my body really was as thrashed as it felt at the time. I’m giving myself today and tomorrow to lick my wounds, bandage my pride and recover. Monday I’ll be back in the pool. Next week I’ll be back on two wheels. I have the winter to add in strength training & yoga and dial in nutrition. I’ll build a solid base and Spring Sprint, I’ll have my redemption on that course.

Done and done

In keeping with my annual tradition, I am NOT posting a resolutions or wrap up post. That’s just an awful lot of work and I’m coming off a week of vacation. And to give you an idea of what my vacation entailed – I happily rolled out of bed at 9:30 one morning and announced to my husband “I set two goals for today! Sleep until at least 9:00am and shower. Half way there!” The pride he exuded was overwhelming. That’s the same day he told me he was going to Krav and I blankly stared at him from my comfy chair, under my heated blanket with my cup of coffee. And he came home to me laying in the floor, playing on my phone, with my feet propped on the wall.

But lest you think I was a total lazy bum – I got up Christmas eve and had breakfast with a friend. We jokingly called it our “first date” because we’ve always done stuff with our families and husbands. It was our first time hanging out just us and it was wonderful. Thursday I helped another friend pack her kitchen. Friday night we went to look at the Christmas lights at the Botanical garden with the breakfast friend & her hubby. Saturday we helped the earlier packing friend (and her family) move, then went to watch the first friend’s daughter play soccer (indoor), then went to another friendly family’s house to watch the UFC fights (did you SEE that leg break? ACK!). Yesterday was our fourth annual family movie marathon so….um….I sat under my heated blanket for approximately 12 hours watching Vin Diesel and Paul Walker drive fast cars. See? Not a totally wasted break.

If I had to sum up this year in one word, I’d have to use “friendship”. We spent a lot of time with those we love, becoming closer to established relationships and developing new ones. We started practicing Krav Maga – another fairly big step for us – but even that I would say falls under the friendship umbrella. We got into it through a friend and have made (and continue to make) new ones in the gym. In fact, I would argue that it’s the relationships that often get me in the doors & onto the mats, not any energy on my part. And now my husband has a membership so we’ll be on the mats together that much more…and that thrills me to no end.

I do have a few goals going into January:

1. Stick to the running plan that my Krav coach gives me. (She’s truly a woman of many talents.) And, um, don’t die in the first month of it.

2. Only post positive words on the internet. No complaining or whining etc. Just positivity. (Is too a word! That red squiggly line means nothing. Nothing.) But not be annoying about it. And the above goal about not dying? That’s positive. Not dying is positive.

That’s it. That’s it for January. Because as we saw in the first paragraph, I dream big.